Creating Opportunities

I can't believe she had it in the bag!

A woman that I am Facebook friends with posted last summer,

"If I started an all-women's group where we empower each other about our businesses or starting a business, would you join?".

Do you know how many women said, "YES!" or "ME!" in the comments?

At least 35!!! Myself included dropped a hand raised emoji.

So, I waited... and waited..

I waited a few days, then checked back on the post and her page - nothing.

I waited a week - nothing. I waited another week - silence.

I couldn't believe the beautiful opportunity that she had but never followed through with it.

She could have created an amazing group for women entrepreneurs, but for whatever reason, didn't. So, I gave up the idea of her starting this group, but I couldn't let go of how amazing the idea was and how it should have been executed.

I wanted to join this so badly, as a woman navigating the complexities of entrepreneurship, I realized that I craved genuine support from others who understood my journey.

For the past 5 years, I have struggled with family and friends not understanding or truly appreciating the work that I do as a Life Coach. I am aware of it not being a traditional career path, however it is extremely rewarding and incredibly important. Regardless that I also work for organizations that are connected with the Department of Juvenile Services, they still can't seem to fully grasp that "Yes dad, this is a real job and I am giving real results"..

And don't even get me started on trying to connect with other coaches. Besides the lack of in-person human connection and the vulnerability that naturally presents itself on the other side of a phone, the majority just try to use rapport to sell you into their own programs. I thought they were called, "Support Groups"? not Sales groups.. I couldn't tell you how many times I've seen life coaches shame others, "Well, you're not healed enough"... Not everyone needs shadow work there, Susie!!

In February, I found myself eager to step into a new role in my life. Spring was on its way, and I felt strongly about expanding more in my life and within my business.

I thought back at that post and how it never went anywhere. Then I asked myself the question,

"Why not you instead?"

This longing sparked the idea—to start my own all-women's network group. I envisioned a safe space where we could connect in person, share our experiences, and uplift one another without the pressure of being sold solutions to our problems.

Within just eight days, I launched the group, and to my delight, several women signed up. I held my very first meeting with nerves, excitement & strength. I'll never forget the 15minute drive to the restaurant. I was just stating back-to-back affirmations out loud to myself the entire drive, "You are capable. You are wise. You are a leader. You are compassionate".

That day changed the trajectory of my support system in my life. We all instantly connected, and it was one of the most empowering events I have ever attended and of course hosted.

Now we meet every month, and it is truly life changing. Each of us leave feeling every event empowered, heard, understood, supported and seen. It is everything that I had envisioned and more.

Fast forward to October, and I can proudly say our group is still thriving. We have formed strong bonds and friendships that I never anticipated. This journey taught me that if I had let fear dictate my actions, none of this would have been possible. If I had convinced myself that I couldn't do this, then I would still be waiting on the woman on Facebook - an opportunity that never came.

I never saw myself doing anything like this. For years I feared even making friends, because of the conditions I created from past rejection. I talked myself out of different opportunities before. When I went to Baltimore for a 3-day training to receive my Hypnotherapy certification, I connected with a few women there. We exchanged numbers, but I never reached out to them - out of fear. Fear that I would be wasting my time. Maybe they only tolerated me because I was stuck in this training with them, or that they will eventually reject me later, once they really get to know me.

I've also had a fear of public speaking, which is another reason why I wanted to start this group. I found it thrilling to do things that I'm afraid of. Almost as if I'm in a competition - with myself. As a leader of a group, I would have to face that fear as I address and lead the group. This was something that I couldn't believe how easily I was able to work through and in such a swift amount of time. The first night was probably my best speech addressing the group, and I'm still very proud of that moment. I broke that fear!

Our network group & my professional support has continued to flourish, yet in my personal life I was feeling called to deepen my spiritual connection. Before I continue on, this is not a "religious pushing" blog, I promise, but I want to share my experience where I took on another role and I didn't allow fear to stop me. In fact, having unshakeable faith in myself was how I was able to anchor down on the steps I needed to take and pushed onward to bringing these dreams to life.

Traditional church settings never resonated with me, the same as connecting with other life coaches online, I just felt judged, misunderstood and shamed. I always had a strong faith that I kept to myself. My religion was having that relationship with God within the 4 walls of my home rather than the 4 walls of a church. However, after recent events in our world, I felt strongly pulled to pick up the bible again. I remember reading it as a child, but never finished it all the way through. So, I always felt that I never had the full story or truth.

I've always wanted to find a safe space to be myself as I learn to grow my relationship with God, and it takes genuine support with others to be able to do so.

So, I surprised myself again by taking another leap into creating opportunities. I recently started a Bible study group called, "Come as you are". Many women in my network shared similar sentiments about church & their faith, so I invited them to join me on this journey of learning and accountability. Half of the group accepted the invitation, and we all purchased "The Year in a Bible" study book. Now, we follow the daily verses and write out our weekly reflection questions, then meet every Sunday for our Bible discussions. One of the women even stated, "This is my church". How rewarding is that statement?!

Now, I could have stopped myself from creating this group also. Not going to lie, I did ask myself, "What right do I have to start a bible group, when I barely know much about it".

But that was the point, we were all learning. Some of us grew up reading the bible, but it felt like the first time. Now there is organization, each week has a specific lesson that the verses are tailored to, there are questions to reflect on, there's no pressure to act or be a certain way to prove your worth to God and to your fellow members. Our first bible study meeting, we met at a local coffee shop and talked for 3 hours! We felt refreshed and motivated! Yet, don't be mistaken, the group is called, "Come as you are" for a reason. The majority of our Sunday meetings will be over Zoom to cut down on travel for some of our ladies. So, every week we will show up in our pajamas holding our coffee mugs rocking our no makeup - no hair - don't care!

So, what changed? How could I go from, "I don't think I could do this.." to "I am going to do this!"? It started from a place of strong desire and determination. All winter I struggled with my health, fighting off a newly developed auto-immune disorder, which affected my mental health as well. I had plenty of time to sit with my thoughts as I worked through the illness, so I asked myself, "Do I want my life to continue this way? Or do I want to show myself that I am capable regardless of what tries to hold me back?"

As winter was passing, and glimmers of spring was showing through, it gave me the strength of my own growth and blossoming. So, I decided to get passionate and determined. I figured that it should start with support, so instead of waiting for support to come, I decided to create it.

I can't wait for my auto-immune system to get better, I have to push through and "come as I am".

So, how did I get motivated to take the action steps needed to create these groups?

I created a method early in the year that broke down my ideas and thoughts in order for me to make tangible action steps. I created an entire workbook on this, along with tips on how to break procrastination and including a scheduler to ease the process.

You can get a hold of this and try it for yourself also. You're welcome to try it for free!

FREE Goals Worksheet | FSF

So, how did I gain the confidence and remove my fears?

There are lots of tricks for confidence, many things we can do within our mind

or even movements you can use with your body.

As for fear, everyone has it. It's a matter of minimizing the power it holds over you.

I teach how to handle the fears, break through these blocks and build self confidence

in my programs as well.

To build your confidence and remove your blocks of fear,

I help people with this all of the time in my programs.

If you're interested, fill out the form to find out:

https://forms.gle/A1YgnJdFSYi28fsK8